A FEW THOUGHTS ON DRIVING
In the course of my life I do quite a lot of driving, as I find that it helps enormously in getting to distant places. I would speculate that it would be problematic trying to hitchhike to, say, Calgary with several dozen guitars and various other bits of gear, but let's not dwell on that.
Anyway. I have known for many, many years that I am one of the very few sane drivers in this country. In fact, I am frequently the only sane driver that I encounter on a three or four hour trip. As such, I find it helpful to anticipate countless acts of potentially lethal stupidity from my fellow travelers, and I am rarely disappointed. Assume the worst, says I, and survive to drive another day.
You know the sort of thing I mean: Someone decides that pulling out on the highway directly in front of you is a dandy notion, and if it means that you have to stand on your brakes at the last minute and leave several pounds of Bridgestone in a steaming smear on the highway, well, what's the problem?
Or, someone in a great blasted huge semi decides that they need to pass you right now, and if it happens to be in a no-passing zone and your only shot at survival is to head for the rhubarb, so what?
One of my personal favourites is the kind of driver who may be labouring under the misapprehension that they are piloting some sort of two-thousand pound steel-and-fiberglass suppository, and that they have further mistakenly identified my rear bumper as the appropriate orifice into which they would insert themselves. Again, let's not dwell on that.
These sorts of things start me wondering just how some people get their licences, given that they show no comprehension of either the rules of the road or the correct operation of their vehicles. I hypothesize, therefore, that there are means of acquiring licences other than the rather mundane one of actually learning what is required. There may well have been pages missing from my driver's handbook with a list of alternate instructions, such as:
Well. I mean, really. Wouldn't the whole blasted thing make so much more sense if this were actually the case? Meanwhile, I'll be the guy oiling along the highway this summer within inches of the speed limit, maintaining a safe travelling distance, and signaling all lane changes and turns. You'll know me if you see me.I'll be sticking out like a sore thumb.